Tuesday, April 28, 2009


so i’ve been reading through the Bible chronologically since last august. some parts have been amazing, as I have been journeying through with a group of incredible friends. toward the beginning of the study we were posting comments and questions, and really digging in together and going deeper. and then there was more old testament, and more old testament, and minor prophet after minor prophet…and i know i speak for more than just myself when i say it was draining! a month or two ago i made a comment to benjamin saying something resembling, “man, i can’t wait to be in the new testament!” and he made a wonderful connection. he pointed out that we get weary and bogged down when we are “stuck” in the old testament for 8 or 9 months. and yet if we feel that way in a "post-Jesus" world, imagine what it was like for those “pre-Jesus” people to be waiting, and hoping, and praying, and believing that someday Messiah would come and bring life and hope and freedom! the anticipation has built for me over the past week, as i could see on my schedule that the new testament (and more importantly Jesus) was coming soon. and then something john calvin said made this hit me even harder. in his commentaries on mark 1, he stated “In order to inflame the minds of his people with a stronger desire of the promised salvation, the Lord had determined to leave them, for a time, without new prophecies. We know that the last of the true and lawful prophets was Malachi.”

i read the book of malachi in a day, and then a day later i read about Jesus. the israelites read malachi, and then experienced silence for 400 years. imagine the anticipation…the longing…the hoping…the praying…the seeking…the doubting…the deafening silence. if i can long for Jesus (who i already have living in me), how much more did they long for him, and how much more astounding the anthem when all of a sudden, he burst onto the scene? and sadly many of them missed Messiah altogether. i pray that as i dig into the life of the Messiah, the long awaited One, that i will tap into that glimpse of longing that has tugged at me, and i will be perpetually grateful for the coming Messiah, WHO IS ALREADY HERE!!! the yearning and groaning for redemption is satisfied, the wait is over, and JESUS is HERE!!!

This blog is a testimony to the work that God is perpetually acting in my life. I am learning that when I think I've given enough of myself, I've barely begun. My prayer is that as God continues to grab hold of my life, not only will He become greater and I become less, but He will become ultimately supreme and I will vanish. This Holy Disappearance will be a lifelong journey in which, by the grace of God, I will become so wrapped up in Him that all of me will disappear and all of Him will SHINE