Tuesday, November 17, 2009
anyway, i was talking to someone at work last week telling her the good news. she then proceeded to give me advice. she said i should beware of the bridesmaids, because they are usually in it for themselves and don't care what the bride wants. she then told me that the day is all about me, and i shouldn't care what the bridesmaids think and i should be prepared to stand up to them in order to get my way...because after all it's my day. i didn't know exactly how to respond, so i just nodded my head and mumbled some type of response and then tried to exit as quickly as possible.
there are several things i was thinking as i left her office. my first thought was "you have no idea how wonderful my friends are." i immediately felt blessed that God has placed wonderful people in my life who are not always thinking about themselves, and who understand that Jesus calls us to all lay down our own desires out of love for others.
my second thought was "you have no idea who my Jesus is!" it makes me sad that this coworker was basing her advice on several personal experiences in which the worldly norm was selfishness. it was obvious based on this short conversation that the parties involved in her wedding experiences were not allowing the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts and to let His glory shine through them in the ways they treated one another.
and my third thought was "IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!" it has always bugged me when people tell brides "it's your day, you should get whatever you want." (for this reason, i DETEST shows like "bridezilla"). i can't think of an example of a day that belongs to God more fully than a wedding day. first, God has ordained that the two parties become one, and HE did the work of bringing them together in the first place. second, the whole purpose of marriage is to set forth a picture of Jesus (the groom) uniting with the Church (His bride). so basically weddings (and marriages) are God's method of using people to project Jesus and to give us the closet analogy possible of Christ's love for the church. so yeah, it's not about me. i get to play an amazing part in the play, but i'm not the playwright. without the author, there is no story to act out. it's kinda like on "so you think you can dance." often times the choreographers get more props from the judges than the dancers, because without the choreographers there would be no dance for the dancers to execute.
in this wedding process, i am just a dancer following the steps of the LORD Of The Dance, hoping that my steps will bring glory to the One who created the dance and cast me in it. i hope that others who would be tempted to say "it's your day" will see that this is my heart, and will choose God's glory over worldly advice. it's His day, and i just want to make Him proud.
This blog is a testimony to the work that God is perpetually acting in my life. I am learning that when I think I've given enough of myself, I've barely begun. My prayer is that as God continues to grab hold of my life, not only will He become greater and I become less, but He will become ultimately supreme and I will vanish. This Holy Disappearance will be a lifelong journey in which, by the grace of God, I will become so wrapped up in Him that all of me will disappear and all of Him will SHINE